We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he puts the penis in happiness.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
