Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We're hate flirting, damnit.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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