I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
