She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
