I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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