Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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