I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
