hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize