Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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