thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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