at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
