She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my being single is dangerous.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Drunk is not a location!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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