He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
