dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
