I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
