I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
