She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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