He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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