I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
