Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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