so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
