I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't think brook has ever known best
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
