I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
