Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
