i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
