In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I love having hate sex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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