Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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