he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
