yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
