No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
