Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
