my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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