In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i dont even know how to be here
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
