We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
