I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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