I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
