we have pet lesbian snakes
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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