Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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