Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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