is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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