My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
