I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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