I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
