Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
