I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
