So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
