how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
