I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
