I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
