They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
