If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
