why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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