THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is that strawberry winking at me??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
